Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My ass is underappreciated
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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