we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize