so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Terrible idea I love it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
