well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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