At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize