Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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