i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
