The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
