I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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