why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
