It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
