Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
