i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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