You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
