you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
