I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
