Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
