I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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