I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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