ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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