it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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