Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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