I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
