i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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