She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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