i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
