drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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