Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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