hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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