i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
