And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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