All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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