If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
