My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize