why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Oh god it's open bar.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize