Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
