oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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