super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize