Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
