he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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