I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
