Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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