Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
