yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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