Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
