White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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