the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
