No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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