I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
