another moral hangover. fuck.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
MIDGETS
????
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
