Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
