I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
