Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize