the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
