I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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