Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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