i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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