I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
