Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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