omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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