he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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