we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
