That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
