i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize