I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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