i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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