Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
