hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
