there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize