maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
