This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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